30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 7

Suicide

Destined to become the Sisyphus of my generation

Push

Pull

Lift

Strain against these insecurities

Shortcomings naturally bestowed upon me

And for every day I feel I get closer

three months pass where

hope sets

leaving me in the night

where all lights are artificially

Cold.

And so

shivering with the frost of time on my mind

I rest

Weary of staring down my reflection

And fighting the world

Just so I can keep looking

I rest

And yet

This rest

is so very temporarily insignificant

Can I not even remember my sleep state?
Can I not enjoy those precious moments inside my mind?

Alas,

It seems this isn't to be so..

And I feel this enervation settling in

Becoming cozy amongst the muscles of my mental

Feelings pass like shadows through a fog

But I can't seem to shake

this overbearing underlying

sentiment of fatigue...

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 6

Love

Let's get lost in each other tonight

No worries

That's fear talking

Silence that savage beast

And let's explore

Learning more

about

our existence

through each other

with one another

let's find heights

and know lows

and classically grip

this massive balance

with each other's spirit

Let's find love

Tear down this wall

of what ifs

and embrace the beauty

of what is

Let's find

new mes

new yous

Let truth through

Because the truth is

I can get lost in all that is you

And I'm scared of how happy

that could make me

Because once you're gone

I'll be

half

empty

Let's embody spirituality

Create a new religion

just for two

Praying to each other

on knees

tasting truth

Let's kiss skies

and massage the earth

Birth a weightless spaceship

that's crawls through all

Slowly and certainly

never sure of future

but positively blessed

by the gift

of present

Let's present our presence

Till when we imagine our essence

we shake with a message

that's purer

than the darkest black

a mix

of mixtures

get fixed

on

pictures

of upside down birds

who flap in efforts to avoid crashing into the sky

Let's embrace that collision

listen to what others are terrified of missing

Let's evolve

Revolving

around the stupider aspects of this universe

then intellectually grasp our feelings

and tongue them down until they orgasm

squirting epiphanies into our awaiting mouths

and we shall taste

we shall swallow

we shall ingest

the directions

and allow the nutrients to become our skin

Let's mend and blend our minds

Let's become the makers and creators of our time

Floating like the note

on a rhyme

Let's blast through reality

Hug our insanity together

Let's make

Let's destroy

Let's fall

Let's rise

in

Passion.

My Love.

Let our thoughts match our actions

and

with that

we shall

immortalize

Compassion.

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 5

Haiku

Dreamers see men in multi-colors

Where lovers don't fall

They hover

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 4

This man knew closets

This man knew closets

Like

winter clothes in the summertime

Like

monsters hiding in the imagination of young children

Like

porn magazines and condoms in shoeboxes

hidden from parents who maintain the illusion

that you're too young to know

right around the time when you've discovered

that you're just old enough

to blow

See

This man knew closets

This man knew closets

because he never knew the lust for a woman's touch

Never pressed for a woman's caress

See

He desired a more masculine approach

And he felt

Shame

Missing the thing

that he thought made him a man

So he hid

See

This man knew closets

And with his shame

Came anger

He clings so tightly to his fantasy of manhood

that he never manages to grasp

adulthood

One day

this man met me

And discovering he likes what he sees

He reacts in the only way he knows how

Confrontation is a pleasantry

when running from self reflection

Anything to avoid

this fight within

And I was blinded

I couldn't see his soul

the core that he blocked so readily with a closed fist

And if I could speak to that man candidly today

I'd tell him

I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to recognize

wasn't able to aid

didn't know what to do

in your struggle for sanity

I'm sorry I helped you hinder your growth

with my own clenched fist

Angry at an anger that made no sense to me

Well it does now

See

This man knew closets

This man knew cold dark fear

And as he ran from himself

he knocked me to the ground

See

His fight

will never be known

Because

He Will Never Admit

To knowing the deep dark shadows

Glowing within his own soul...

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 3

Mmmmmmm...

Running this bath water

Anticipation

It's been a long hour

Painful how the air touches my skin

Even more painful how this truth rubs against my soul

The friction makes me cringe

and beg for fiction

And so I run this bath

Intending to stay as long as life lets me

Finally...

I turn the faucet off

These lies will do just fine

Dipping my leg into them

I feel the warmth

of my own fantasies caress my leg

oh

so gently..

But I'm starting to notice a catch...

The longer I stay in this tub of deceit

The more I

remain

stagnant.

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 2

Protection

I sit here

Naked

with my feelings

Tasting.

A bit stale.

They've been locked away far too long.

in a box

labeled

Manhood.

Almost forgot the combination.

30 Days 30 Poemas:: Day 1

So, a friend of mine is writing 30 poems in 30 days and has asked all writers to join her.

Here's Day 1.

"Black Hole"

there's a black hole in the middle of my mind

daily i circle it

eyes wide with something too close to love to be called fear

trying to avoid

this inevitable darkness

inch by inch i get closer

like slow sex

but without the passion

relaxing

only in moments

when drug induced vision

allows me to look and see light

then

i upchuck my fright

and end up right back in the same plight

there's a black hole in the middle of my mind

in it lies the questions of my existence

the blessings I find myself missing

sometimes i listen

and I swear I hear in it

my voice

yelling in a whisper

barely audible

that I have something so powerful

that it can change change.

Choice.

There's a black hole in the middle of my mind

Everytime I get too close

I lose reality

Slipping into uncertainty

Until I find an epiphany to grab onto

and help myself

pull myself out with it

There's a black hole in the middle of my mind

And I would stay on the outskirts all the time

If I wasn't so damn sure

that at the epicenter of that black hole

Lives a

beautiful

sweet

sanity.