or she'd fall
she never did listen to her mother
her mother was addicted to cocaine
and the various erections of nameless lovers
but that's not why she didn't listen
she was frightened
that's much closer to the reason
she was scared that her mother could be right about anything
because if her mom could be right about anything, then she could have
been right that Thursday night
when she came into the living room--slash--kitchen--slash--dining room
"you'll never be any better than me."
that was it.
no explanation, no conversation.
and so the daughter tried not to think about that night often
she leaned back as far as balance would allow
she broke curfew religiously
she saved no money. fuck a rainy day.
the whole world is a cloud
and she smoked
good lord, how she smoked ...
if her mother was aware
of anything but herself
then possibly, through psychological negative reinforcement and reverse psychology,
she could've raised the next president
but she wasn't
and so her daughter was destined